I put it up all over KAF. While Warren was gone for on leave, people in our regular group had to step up to fill the void. I helped out by putting up flyers, and by making sure the food and cooking supplies that we have here remains kosher.
Being Jewish on KAF is easier than at most FOBs (once again, Forward Operating Bases). For one thing we have a bigger population and therefore more supplies and support. It's also just a larger base so there's more chance for overlap between cultures here. For instance the French PX and the British snack bar both have lox on their menus! Observe:
Seems like a reasonable price.
It was delicious.
Here are some more of the foods I'll go to when I get homesick.
I'd bet that this is more of an attempt at capturing the souvenir market and less of an overlap in cultures, but I see these around KAF all the time:
Kidush pourer thing.
I don't know what the Afghanis sell these as, but I've only ever seen them used for Kiddish wine at Jewish events. The idea is that someone says the blessing over the wine in the big cup, and then pours it into the holes in the top and siphons the wine into all the little cups on the bottom, so everyone can have some of the blessed wine. More pictures of those:
This one is more plain.
There are grapes on it, that means for wine, right?
OK, now I know I'm right, that's supposed to be Jerusalem on that cup!
As you can see from the flyer above, we only met for Rosh Hashanah on Wednesday evening, and then did our regular Friday night activities at the end of the chag. A non-regular attendee took a bunch of pictures and sent them out. Be prepared, the following pictures include some of the latest captured images of my beard. They may be shocking.
Preparing our "Kandahar Cholent" (it's made of whatever we've got) and matzoh ball soup!
Unpacking the Kiddush wine.
Tada!
Rickey lights the candles.
Shofar blowing.
Benari thinks, "He's going to faint".
Food!
Yummy.
At the other end of the table, a photo-shoot of Jacob and Avi takes place:
After dinner is over and all cleaned up, we have a little shofar jam session.
Shofar so good.
Shofar is hilarious.
Happy Rosh Hashanah from Kandahar!
Friday night, we had a turnout of exactly ten men show up to our Yom Kippur service. We went through the machzor and chose which prayers we'd like to focus on, say, or discuss. On Saturday we had a morning service where followed that same model. Our break-fast consisted of cakes sent by the kosher troops and the aleph institute organizations.
Sukkot is coming, and we're getting an actual Rabbi Chaplain. I hope it's as good as my Jewish experience has been here so far. Here's a picture of the Sukkah that I took around the second week I was here. I know it looks a little decrepit, but hey, there's a Sukkah in Afghanistan!
Almost forgot: Since my recent and auspicious mention in the Gross Schechter Day School Alumni Newsletter (which you can feel free to read), in which I discuss how helpful my Schechter education has been in allowing me to participate and help facilitate the Jewish service here in Kandahar, my mother has been encouraging me to also mention how important my experiences at both Park Synagogue and Camp Ramah in Canada have been in molding my Jewish knowledge. I might as well also plug my experiences at USY, the Siegel College of Jewish Studies, Hebrew University of Jerusalem, Alpha Episolon Pi, The University of Vilnius's Summer Yiddish Institute, OSU Hillel etc. etc. etc.
Shout-out to Rabbi Rogozen, Michael Wolf, Rabbis Skoff and Marcus, Arlyne Bochnek, Amnon Ophir, and whoever the point people may be at those other things.
Recently, Major Kraus, friend of the Education Center offered to have the Ed Center team over to his side of the base for a tour of the Army helicopters and a movie night in their rec room. It was a fantastic experience. Took a whole bunch of pictures. First we walked around the hangar where the skeletons of helicopters sat waiting to be put back together.
Helicopter skeleton.
Explaining things.
You see, after every so many hours of flight time a helicopter needs to be completely taken apart and put back together.
Looks like this one's got some sort of steam-punk rocket booster on the back.
From the hangar we went to the vast expanses of helicopter fields. Must've been hundreds of them spaced far apart - so it covered a couple square miles.
Looks like a helicopter version of Russian dolls.
We were there right around sunset, so it made for a good picture.
Ohhhhh.... ahhhh...
That little unicorn horn thingy there? That's in case the chopper flies through a place with wires - to cut them.
Wire cutter up close.
Castro reviews the troops' performance... Acceptable.
Fields and fields of helicopters.
Then we watched the sunset from their second story deck. Sandy sunset.
If anyone was on the edge of their seats waiting to find out what movie we watched afterwards - it was Bad Teacher. Just as funny the second time (I saw it in theaters). I guess working at the Education Center has some advantages - you meet people from every part of the base, because someone from any part of the base is trying to get an education - and in doing so you have some sort of a connection with the whole base.
Government Shut Down Update: So the funding problem cleared itself up in less than 24 hours. Basically it amounted to a sleep-in and a trip to the bazaar. Phew. I was actually looking forward to a full day off. I didn't get to the intense work-out at the gym that I was planning for the afternoon before we got the word to head back to work.
Actual Post:
I've definitely mentioned the poo pond here at KAF before in this blog. The poo pond is a water treatment facility. You can see it in google maps if you search Kandahar Airport - it looks like a four-petaled flower made of poo-water. It smells, but I guess I'm used to it as people who are new to KAF have a more and more noticeable reaction to smelling the poo pond. Maybe when I leave here everything will smell so wonderful by comparison that I'll just stand still and breathe through my nose for hours on end.
Here's what the poo pond looks like.
Anyway, I took these pictures of the humorous signs people have put up near the poo pond edge. They are all variations on the same theme - that there are four extremely large pools of water smelling of poo very close by.
There's no yacht club here... that's ridiculous...
When I showed these signs to someone on base they said it ruined the movie Willy Wonka for them, making Augustus Gloop's elimination from the competition far more gruesome than it was to begin with... the biohazard sign isn't meant to be humorous.
And there you have it - the poo pond of KAF. Until next time.
On the very day that I watch the episode of The West Wing in which the opposing party jerks the Bartlet White House around in the budget negotiations to the point of nudging the President over the edge and him ending negotiations by welcoming a government shut down, I get the worst news we could possibly get here. We will in effect see a government shut down of funding for Army Education Centers across the board. Starting Tomorrow, the Ed Center will shut down. Here's the pivotal scene:
The actual funding process for the education centers is pretty complicated and I don't want to bore anybody, but much like the West Wing, or a real government shut down for that matter, we don't have any idea when it'll be over. The predictions are all around "a few days". Unfortunately, this will mean the closing of the education center and all of its services to service-members and civilians at KAF and throughout the country (at least - haven't heard yet about Iraq, Kosovo, Qatar, Kuwait etc.). This means no computer lab, no testing center, no counseling services, no classrooms, no nothing.
It also means no work for me. This could be a blessing or a curse. I would welcome a day or two off, but I can't imagine going for more than that at KAF without work. Crushing boredom exists just around every corner as things currently stand, and without work the wave of ennui will be overwhelming. I guess I'd get more sleep in those couple of days for sure... And I'd get in some super gym time... Maybe it won't be so bad. No, it'll be terrible if it lasts even a full week so go education center funding!
I've spliced into this blog portions from an online conversation I had with my friend Seth about my recent beard situation. Also, for reference, here's what I look like when I'm clean shaven:
I'm in the where's waldo sweater. There's Seth on the left. Also there's Ari and Willie. Props to the crew. And to melt, and to trivia night.
jlk: I forget what my face's skin feels like
not with my hands
but I forget what feeling things on my face feels like
there's a protective shell
sas: haha
jlk: like if you wear a ring too long and take it off it feels all tingly because you're not used to things touching your finger
that's what it's totally going to be like when I shave
sas: definitely
jlk: in six months
I stopped shaving during the last week of my training in Germany. That would mean my beard has been continuously growing since around August 1st. At the time of this posting, that means the beard is nearly two months old. I've gone for longish periods of time without shaving in the past, but my record had never passed the five week mark. Here are some pictures from past beard growing periods (for some reason it very often coincides with AEPi's winter semi-formal and also ends with a fu manchu and then a mustache):
Freshman year at OSU I went two weeks without shaving - thought it was pretty cool - retro phone.
jlk: It's going to be beardtober followed by novembeard and decembeard. janbeardary
sas: hahaha
jlk: Febeardary
im trying to say "there will be beard"
sas (sarcastically, I suspect): It's crazy how beard fits into all these months. It's not forced at all
AEPi winter formal 2009.
We are schnazzy dudes.
jlk: beard diamond
rambo: first beard
the winter of our beard content
the lord of the beard the return of the beard
star wars a new beard
star wars the beard strikes back
star wars return of the beard
SAS: what a beard obsessed culture we have
for a man with a handsome beard, it appears george lucas has a bit of a facial hair complex
So at the end of that iteration of the beard I shaved a K for Kramer into my chin.
Then the fu manchu.
Then the Mario.
jlk: "in cold beard"
beardsport
lawrence of arabeardia
casabearda
sas: are you quite finished?
jlk: no I think I can think of more
sas: well alrighty
AEPi Semi-formal 2010
As I recall, this picture was taken on the same night as the opening ceremonies for the winter Olympics, 2010.
jlk: schindler's beard
sas: there seems to be absolutely no standard for these
jlk: the three musketbeards
harry potter and the half beard prince
the old man and the beard
sas: no
I refuse to allow this to continue
This was at some themed party 2010, these girls were dressed as the three little pigs and took a picture with me because I was "the wolf".
I actually went a whole Sunday looking like this because I thought it was funny.
jlk: beard-22
sas: no
Wow! A lot of people making it to the blog today.
jlk: the beardfather
sas: there needs to be some standard
Time for a change!
In the past, just by looking the way I do, I've been mistaken for all sorts of nationalities: All sorts of Middle Eastern... Italian, Spanish, Greek etc. It has something to do with the darker complexion and the scruff. I walk into a Lebanese felafel place and they greet me in Lebanese Arabic. At the Cleveland JCC I am greeted in farsi because an Iranian guy just thinks I look like I speak his language. At Arlington cemetery, a tour guide simply starts speaking Italian to me and so on. How have my Polish, Russian, Hungarian genes produced this chameleon of Indo-European nations? The world may never know.
jlk: indiana jones and the temple of beard
sunset beardevard
the princess beard
beard-hur
it's a wonderful beard
beard for vendetta
sas: ok i'm leaving now
Mario makes another appearance.
jlk: the beard brothers (the blues brothers)
the bearddock saints
come on that one was really good!
beauty and the beard
sas: nope, you ruined it
So this is what I looked like when I first arrived at KAF.
Funny anecdote: At age 16, I was nicknamed Old Man Kramer on a camping trip (and a song was written to the tune of "old man river") because over the six days of the trip I became quite the scruffy kid.
sas: all subsequent good ones after the initial bad ones lose their goodness
jlk: oh come on
some of them were great!
sas: schindler's beard????
list to beard
no
jlk: that one is funny because of its absurdity!
sas: nope
Now I'm here in Afghanistan. I've grown a beard because I'm less concerned about appearances than say in a normal work environment, and I find shaving to be a time-consuming chore during which my face rarely escapes unscathed (see picture above in which I shaved a K into my chin).
Here's an oft-quoted beard-related youtube video:
jlk: elie wiesel's beard.
sas: beard instead of night?
jlk: yeah
sas: oy
crappy
jlk: I know
About a week after arriving in KAF.
jlk: the good the beard and the ugly
sas: that one would be good
if you hadn't ruined it
jlk: and granted I screwed up earlier with star wars
it should've been the empire strikes beard
sas: well you blew it
I've been telling people that I'm growing a beard in solidarity with myself, like all those causes and sports related periods of time that people will grow beards for... mostly I'm just seeing how far I can go with it before it gets too far out of hand or I get too bored with it. I know that I'll never beat the record I'm setting of longest-I've-ever-gone-without-shaving, barring my becoming a monk or joining some sort of cult.
Skype photo taken a few weeks into my downrange experience.
For now, my beard isn't functional, but in just a few weeks it'll be very useful keeping my face warm. It gets pretty cold here at night already - into the 50s. We're still breaking 90 degrees F every day though. I'm told it gets down to the 30s in the middle of winter.
A-OK in Afghanistan!
This one time while I was driving around the base trying to find some supply tent somewhere when I pulled into what was clearly not what I was looking for and a TCN (third country national) from somewhere in the Near East politely listened to me ask him for directions. He gestured vaguely in a nondescript direction (in many cultures over here it is uncommon for someone to admit that they don't know the answer to your question) and before I pulled away he said to me in highly accented English "I think you are Pakistan".
jlk: dr. strangelove: how I learned to stop worrying and love the beard
sas: again would be good
but you ruined it
jlk: to kill a mockingbeard
beardheart
come on! I've improved!
sas: true but you cant unruin the ruined
A couple of weeks ago.
Another time, I was sitting at my desk in the computer lab and Christian brings a couple of Afghan men who spoke English pretty decently. One of them turned to me before sitting down to a computer and greeted me in Pashto, the local language. This isn't uncommon, many of the shop owners at the bazaar greet me in Pashto, my normal response is a nod and a "hello", but this time he was waiting for a real interaction. I just said "good evening". The man was really startled. He asked, "You are not Afghan?" "No, I'm from Ohio". "Oh! I think you are Kandahari (from Kandahar City which is the second largest city in Afghanistan) and if you are not Kandahari I think you are something close like Palestina'i (Palestinian)".
jlk: beardrunner
the tales of beardle the beard
million dollar beardy
bringing up beardy
three men and a beardy
the beard ultimatum
the incredibeards
a beard's life
ok I think I'm done
for real
At this point my eyes lock with Christian's and I give him a death stare. It's not beneath Christian to make candid jokes about my being Jewish, often to the discomfort of anyone else around. Have I mentioned he spent a few months in Tel Aviv learning Hebrew? Also, several years in Beirut as a journalist. It's not that I thought the man was going to get into a discussion about Israel and Palestine with me right there, but I didn't want to risk it. Christian just smiled back at me. Later, he said he wasn't planning on saying anything about it - but I'm not so sure. The man just went about his business on a computer - shaking his head in disbelief that he and I weren't from the same country.
This is what I look like driving around the base. Just smiling my day away.
I'm not sure yet just how long I'll keep this beard thing going. The shock value of being able to see my friends and loved ones' faces when they see me those first few days I'm back in a few months would be very high, but I'm not positive it's worth 6 or 7 months of beard growing for it...
jlk: les miserabeard
nailed it.
sas: a good one to end on
Almost forgot: Since my recent and auspicious mention in the Gross Schechter Day School Alumni Newsletter (which you can feel free to read), in which I discuss how helpful my Schechter education has been in allowing me to participate and help facilitate the Jewish service here in Kandahar, my mother has been encouraging me to also mention how important my experiences at both Park Synagogue and Camp Ramah in Canada have been in molding my Jewish knowledge. I might as well also plug my experiences at USY, the Siegel College of Jewish Studies, Hebrew University of Jerusalem, Alpha Episolon Pi, The University of Vilnius's Summer Yiddish Institute, OSU Hillel etc. etc. etc.
