Monopoly

I don't know why, but whenever I live somewhere for more than a couple of months, a group will emerge to play Monopoly with me. How cool is that? Back at home, at summer camp, in Columbus, when I lived in DC with a bunch of student interns, there's always a group such as these that will be willing to argue endlessly over the outcome of a property trade. It's practically been the greatest conceivable board game since 1934 (with the possible exception of Settlers of Catan, of which I'd have to play more to better judge the two).

Well, since our good friends on the other side of the base left the theater of operations, and us with no regular movie night on Saturdays, there's been nothing notable to do on a Saturday night here. This was until last week when I made the executive decision to force a couple of friends to play Monopoly with me. Everyone had a great time and the experience was repeated with more participants last night.

I totally won. Andrea (on the left) won last week.

Monopoly is great is my point.

Helicopters!

Recently, Major Kraus, friend of the Education Center offered to have the Ed Center team over to his side of the base for a tour of the Army helicopters and a movie night in their rec room. It was a fantastic experience. Took a whole bunch of pictures. First we walked around the hangar where the skeletons of helicopters sat waiting to be put back together.

Helicopter skeleton.

Explaining things.

You see, after every so many hours of flight time a helicopter needs to be completely taken apart and put back together.

Looks like this one's got some sort of steam-punk rocket booster on the back.

Nope, it's just the engine uncovered.

Chinook helicopters have a lot of trunk space. Great for families.

From the hangar we went to the vast expanses of helicopter fields. Must've been hundreds of them spaced far apart - so it covered a couple square miles.

Looks like a helicopter version of Russian dolls.

We were there right around sunset, so it made for a good picture.

Ohhhhh.... ahhhh...

That little unicorn horn thingy there? That's in case the chopper flies through a place with wires - to cut them.

Wire cutter up close.

Castro reviews the troops' performance... Acceptable.

Fields and fields of helicopters.

Then we watched the sunset from their second story deck. Sandy sunset.

If anyone was on the edge of their seats waiting to find out what movie we watched afterwards - it was Bad Teacher. Just as funny the second time (I saw it in theaters). I guess working at the Education Center has some advantages - you meet people from every part of the base, because someone from any part of the base is trying to get an education - and in doing so you have some sort of a connection with the whole base.

Government Shut Down

On the very day that I watch the episode of The West Wing in which the opposing party jerks the Bartlet White House around in the budget negotiations to the point of nudging the President over the edge and him ending negotiations by welcoming a government shut down, I get the worst news we could possibly get here. We will in effect see a government shut down of funding for Army Education Centers across the board. Starting Tomorrow, the Ed Center will shut down. Here's the pivotal scene:

The actual funding process for the education centers is pretty complicated and I don't want to bore anybody, but much like the West Wing, or a real government shut down for that matter, we don't have any idea when it'll be over. The predictions are all around "a few days". Unfortunately, this will mean the closing of the education center and all of its services to service-members and civilians at KAF and throughout the country (at least - haven't heard yet about Iraq, Kosovo, Qatar, Kuwait etc.). This means no computer lab, no testing center, no counseling services, no classrooms, no nothing.

It also means no work for me. This could be a blessing or a curse. I would welcome a day or two off, but I can't imagine going for more than that at KAF without work. Crushing boredom exists just around every corner as things currently stand, and without work the wave of ennui will be overwhelming. I guess I'd get more sleep in those couple of days for sure... And I'd get in some super gym time... Maybe it won't be so bad. No, it'll be terrible if it lasts even a full week so go education center funding!

Bartlet for President.

Moving the Computer Lab

It was decided long before I came to Kandahar that the computer lab was in the wrong place and instead it should be located across the deck one building over. It was rough going, but we did it.

View from my old desk.

As can be seen in the picture above, the computer booths in the Ed. Center are very large/ The booths were made out of lots of wood and were made to last. Whoever built these things decided to build them nailed and screwed together every which way so the only way to move them was to strip a lot of wood off and really rip them apart. Here are the highlights (pictures were taken on the Ed. Center's camera by Dee, the education services officer - pretty sure the flash was turned off so it's sorta blurry).

So first we unplugged everything and got it out of there. Then it looked like this:

But as you can see, there are still wires connected.

Those wires were built into the computer desks.So we got to the nitty gritty. There were a lot of jokes made about Jews doing manual labor... to be fair, I started it.

Assessing the situation.

Into action.

Christian takes a break.

Paul steps in.

No no no! This one goes here, that one goes there.

Meanwhile, decisions were being made about how to wire the new computer lab.

"I say we wire it over there"

"No! Up there!"

"Over there!"

While they were arguing, Brandan climbed on top of the roof of the deck.

Basically, he's spiderman.

Mission Accomplished.

While all this was going on I was still trying to get the wire's out from the desks.

Knees starting to hurt.

Finally it was all ready for the hardest part - actually moving them:

Starting to come together.

Dee and Major Wishart in the new computer lab, sans computers.

Now it's been nearly 2 weeks in the new computer lab and the new location has got its perks and drawbacks. Here's the new view from my work station:

The end.

One Month Contractversary

It has been a month now since I arrived at KAF. It is extraordinary how fast the time here seems to slip by. I'll turn around and a week has gone by. This is definitely related to all the days being the same, and having very little variation. Here's how my week normally breaks down:

The first half of the week I get the late shift. That's 1000-2200. I wake up around 0730ish and go to the MWR gym (because it's closer to my room), as opposed to the NATO gym which is supposedly cleaner and nicer (it's nicknamed two-shoes because you must bring a second pair of non-dusty does with you in order to exercise there). Afterwards I pick up breakfast and then get ready to go to work.

Throughout the day there are various odd jobs that I'm responsible for, as well as breaks for meals and incidentals and this helps break up the time on the clock. You'd think it would drag on because it's half a day's worth of work, but it doesn't.  When I get off work at 2200 I sometimes stay after a bit to skype with home - then go to my room and sleep.

The second half of the week I have the 0700-1900 shift. I pick up breakfast on the way into work and eat it in the early slow hours during which relatively few soldiers come in for help in the Army Learning Center. I try to come in a bit earlier because when it's 0630 here in Afghanistan, it's 10:00pm back in Eastern Time, and once daylight savings time starts in November it'll be 9:00pm: perfect time to talk to friends and family through skype.

After work on these days I either go to the gym or to the Shabbat Services available to me (this is why I requested the early shift during the second half of the week), and then the gym. After I exercise, I'll read or watch tv, or if I'm feeling up to it after the long day I'll go to the MWR or the USO which are like morale and welfare institutions for those living on KAF. They have movie theaters, pool, fooseball, video games etc. And that's pretty much how my time here is spent barring any routine-changingly significant events.

I find myself going through that thought process articulated in the show Seinfeld. You know when they're stuck in Florida for an extra five days and Seinfeld goes on about how the first and the last days don't even count, sleeping and meals don't count, and so on until they're really only stuck in Florida for 20 minutes instead of five days? I find myself thinking this way about months going by.

I know I shouldn't start thinking about leaving this early considering I have five more months to go, and considering that I'm not miserable here and don't plan to be... but I can't help it despite all the advice I've been given to not count down to when you're leaving until at least 3 months have passed... and that's only two months away from now and if you take away sleep and meals... see? I'm doing it again...

Here are some more interesting pictures I've collected from living in Afghanistan:

I live on Illinois, the most commonly landed upon space in Monopoly.

Ohio street is only a block away, where everyone is playing cornhole all day long and is nice to each other

The airport has lost some of its 1960s sheen.

 We had clouds last week. It was significant.

Christian enjoying a cigarette on the Education Center's porch.

What feels like the only tree in KAF.

Obligatory sign pointing out which direction and how far away things are.

Remember VHS tapes? They used to be the way to consume media and still are in some places (like the Kramer household). VHS tapes are still popular in very specific places, namely: The Kramer household, and Afghanistan. I'm pretty sure all the VHS tapes that aren't in the Kramer household are either destroyed or have somehow found their way here.

Lots of VHS tapes.

Some Classics. You'll shoot your eye out kid! Also, You can't handle the truth! Also, 1.21 gigawatts?!?!

Update on my own personal content consumption: I'm waist deep into "The Wire". Season 2 was sort of a let-down, but 3 is better. Reading The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo is pretty enthralling - it reminds me of Dan Brown books. I'm also reading Theodore Rex about Teddy Roosevelt's time as president, he was a badass.

Until next time!

Driving Around

In my broad and deep two-week experience downrange, I have had some opportunity to see a majority of KAF. There's plenty yet for me to see, but here are some highlights from driving around the base and taking pictures of standard things one might expect to see here.

First thing you see when driving around is the steering wheel. Here it is:

Anything strike you as odd?

The steering wheel is on the right!

Proof - except I easily could've shown the mirror image of this photo. You know what? You'll just have to trust me.

Getting used to driving on the right side of the car was an ordeal. It's all a matter of overpowering the desire for your head to be 43% of the road distance from the right side the road and instead having your head located at around 10% of the road distance from the right side of the road - because we still drive forward on the right here. Was that confusing to read? Because it was confusing to write. When I get back to the states people might want to avoid driving with me for a while because I'll be going through a similar acclimation period - also I'll be windshield wiping instead of turn-signaling.

Our next-door neighbors.

So next door there's a sort of headquarters, but it's not the main headquarters at KAF - I haven't quite figured out what goes on over there, but it's apparently the wing of the Army that we fall under in the overarching hierarchy that is this little world.

Here's what you're definitely most likely to see when driving around here:

Barbed wire, generator flood-lights, and fence.

Another thing you're very likely to see: 

What's your sign? "Speed limit is walking speed"? You must be trustworthy.

Signs are everywhere here. Oh look! here comes another one!

For those who can't convert 20 km/h is like 12 mph.

So we have to go very very slow around here. And for good reason! You don't want to get in an accident with this:

MRAP

So this is what an mrap looks like up close. There isn't really anything in this picture to compare it to for scale, but imagine an average sized person standing next to the front wheel right there. Their head would be at about the top of the wheel casing above the wheel - these things are massive, and there are all sorts of them driving around here in addition to a myriad other large and useful vehicles.

Spoiler alert: I'm going to be collecting pictures of the different international compound entrances and posting about them because I think they are pretty cool looking, but here's what one of them looks like.

The Slovaks compound.

And there you have it, a little summary of what driving around KAF is like. Invariably we end up back at the Ed. Center:

Work, sweet work.

Happy Birthday Mike. You're a Champion.

So last week was Michael Champion, the tester here at Kandahar Education Center's, birthday. A plot was schemed to kidnap him by luring him into one of the Ed. Center's classrooms that is under construction and covering his head and ensnaring his hands in one of those zipper handcuff thing all in honor of his birthday.

I was pretty uncomfortable with this plan. After all, there are plenty of people walking around with weapons, and you never know how people are going to react when they see two people with Keffiehs around their heads struggling to force someone into a car..., but it was my first full week, so whatever I agreed to be the getaway car driver. The full plan was for him to go out to the room where Christian and Michael Self (another Michael - this one works for University of Maryland) would attack and subdue Michael and put him in the car where I would be waiting with Afghani music or talk radio blasting. Then we'd drive around for like five minutes until we got to the pizza place on the boardwalk where we'd have a birthday dinner in his honor.

Here are some pictures.

This is Michael Self. You can't tell me he doesn't look like Fidel Castro.

"Let me tell you about the glorious revolution I led..."

Christian helping Mike to appear very intimidating.

So here's what ended up happening. While I diligently waited in the get-away car, Mike (Champion) came out of the Ed. Center... went towards the classroom as planned and instantly saw through the master that was the kidnapping plan.

The game is up.

Let's just do it anyway!

This is what it should've looked like, but with a lot more struggling.

So apparently there are a couple more sit-down restaurants than I originally thought. There's a Dutch restaurant and a pizza place. Pizza was the destination of choice for this occasion.

I'll have the "my co-workers are incompetent at surprising me, please"

Pretty sure they said a big jumble of sounds instead of his name when they sang "happy birthday" and that's what's so funny.

 Happy b-day Mike!

One more picture of Mike Self as Fidel Castro for good measure:

Ok one more: